Appreciating the Elderly

Being in the audiology field clinically since my 3rd year has exposed me to various types of patients from different backgrounds. However, one aspect common to all, in particular to the geriatric population is that there are families who do not take care of their fragile and old parents. Initially I was surprised and appreciative of independent patients who came in by themselves with their equally old spouses for hearing assessments.
In cases where they need to wear hearing aids, it saddened me when they claimed that they have quite a few children and none seemed to actually want to buy the aids for them. I mean, I know those things are quite expensive, but if there are let say, 5 of them and all are working, surely they could pool in money to at least buy for one side. There are hundreds of applications for hearing aids funding and not all are confirmed to get it. If working-children are able to buy the aids for their own parents, think of how many others who simply are not financially-able, will then deservedly get the funding.
And then there was a case, where his old man accidentally fell off his bike on road and consequently is wheelchair-bound, and has hearing loss. His son actually had the guts to say out loud ‘it’s so difficult to take care of this old man; he is deaf and complains too much’. I was shocked, but my supervisor at that time quickly retorted ‘He took care of you since you were born; now it’s your turn lah’. That got the guy to shut up.
Despite that, there are cases of those who really take good care of their elderly. I had the opportunity to observe a patient who has hearing loss and was accompanied not only by his spouse, but also his son and grandson. Talk about family love! But seriously, people should not take their parents for granted. They’re the ones who brought you into this world in the first place; the least you could do is take care of them.
Here’s a poem complimentary of my bestie, Mas, (a nursing student) which was actually her assignment to interpret, of which I still kept, glued in my clinical notebook. Very touching, and really motivates me to be a better person.

“Crabbit Old Woman”

What do you see, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me –
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice,
I do wish you’d try.
Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding the long day is filled.
Is that what you’re thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes,
Nurse, you’re looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still!
As I rise to your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of 10 with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another –
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet,
A bride soon at 20 – my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At 25 now I have young of my own
Who needs me to build a secure happy home;
A woman of 30, my young now grows fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn;
At 50 once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known;
I’m an old woman now and nature is cruel –
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joy, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few – gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last –
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see,
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer –
See Me.